The Inevitable (but a li’l ahead of expected schedule) – 2

Read the earlier part of this story here. Highly recommended to set the context.

So where did we leave off this story? Right. Mother decides to ‘look’ for a guy to get me married to – in spite of my incoherent mutterings.
Being of entrepreneurial spirit, mother started to explore both conventional and unconventional channels.

She decided to dig out a copy of my horoscope from a black bag in which all our old documents are kept. This digging out process in itself was quite entertaining. I got to see a pic of myself in an identity card from 4th grade. I used to wear a Polka dotted frock and two pony tails on my head. I also seem to have won the lemon-and-spoon race in 2nd grade. Very gratifying it was.

Eventually, a yellowed-folded paper emerged. This paper, drawn upon during the time of my birth, apparently outlined what the stars and planets were doing when I was in the process of making my appearance before the earthlings. This horoscope was an important instrument in finding a life partner.

Next, I was made to dress up ‘like a girl’ – which involved wearing a Chudidhar, taming my hair and coloring my lips. In my girl attire, some photographs were taken. Portfolio, they called it. Two standing (one with teeth, one without), two sitting (one with teeth, one without) up close and two sitting (one with teeth, one without) a little afar.

‘What a lame thing this is, ya.’ I remember telling A as we both collected the – ahem – portfolio from the highly profitable studio.

The hard copies of a selected picture out of this lot – sitting, afar, no teeth – were given to some high network relatives along with a photocopy of the horoscope.

One Sunday afternoon I was cornered by both the parents. It IS remarkable how many significant things in my life have happened on Sunday afternoons. I was taken in front of our desktop. A matrimony website was open. Noooooooo I screamed. The barrel of a gun was placed on my forehead and I was made to (in description) fill in my Interests, Hobbies, About Myself and What I Look for in A Partner.Okay fine, the screaming and the gun part didn’t happen. But I was cornered and made to type (in description).

Now this led to a series of events.
Mother ended up being online all day.
Brother lost out many of his desktop hours.
Father found many more young men to express his opinion on.
I had a new homework to do.

Every day after I came home from work, mother used to have a list of profiles for me to look at. These profiles ranged from mildly interesting to soporific. So I flipped through many and shook my head. Day after day.

For around 2 of these, a conversation was even initiated over mail. After a maximum of 4 mails, the sensible boy and I both lost interest in each other.

Since I didn’t have any faith in this process to start with, I didn’t lost any.

Other things were waiting to happen – just around the corner.

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